The Walking Dead doesn’t really have any well-defined ‘good’ and ‘bad’ characters, but the writing makes you root for some more than others. Still, sometimes even the heroes feel like villains. Look no further than Rick Grimes, who’s been the focus of the franchise — both in the comic book and the TV show — from the very start.

Rick Grimes is a loving family man; he’ll do anything to protect those around him. But for those not on his side, he can be vicious. From the time he usurped control of Alexandria to his brutal invasion of a Saviour outpost, when he killed men in their sleep, he’s a far stretch from innocent. The same goes for things he does in the comic book. And yet, we all love Rick Grimes.

Writing in the letters page in The Walking Dead Deluxe #87, creator Robert Kirkman weighed in on the moral ambiguity of Rick’s decisions; when the survivors are deep into the apocalypse, the line between good and evil becomes blurred. Brutality becomes the new normal. “It’s becoming harder and harder to understand the motivations of these characters,” Kirkman wrote. “We SEE them living in this world, but we don’t ourselves go through anything close to what they do in our everyday lives.”

In Issue #87, Rick is forced to make yet another dark decision: abandoning the character of Jesse when she wouldn’t leave her son’s side. Jesse’s story plays out differently in the TV show, where she features in both seasons 5 and 6. “You really have to consider what he’s been through, from day one, and that’s tough,” Kirkman explained. “Had Rick not done what he did, they would have all died.” It’s these quick decisions that completely change the trajectory of the story.